Funny Dog Quotes From the Quirky to the Hilarious:
1. “I’m not a dog!
I’m a man!” – Charlie Brown
2. “You’re so mean.
” – Pooh Bear
3. “My name’s not mean, it’s just.
..funny.” – Oscar the Grouch
4. “He doesn’t like me because I smile too much” – Mr.
Burns

5. “That’s my job!
” – Homer Simpson
6. “It’s not a crime to laugh at one’s self.
” – Woody Woodpecker
7. “Don’t worry, I won’t bite.
” – Scrat
8. “If you don’t laugh, you cry” – Winnie the Pooh
9. “I’m gonna go get myself another beer” – Barney Stinson
10. “The only thing worse than being right is being boring.” – Voltaire
11. “
What do you think? Is this a joke?”
– Homer Simpson
12. “There are no second acts in American lives” – Bill Cosby
13. “Homer, if you want to live forever, eat a rat.” – Ned Flanders
14. “I’ll tell ya what, let’s have some fun today!” – Homer Simpson
15. “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.” – Mason Cooley

16. “Come on!
Let’s go!” – Pinnochio
17. “
When are you going to learn that I’m never wrong?”
– Blackadder
18. “The key to happiness is to lower your expectations.” – George Carlin
19. “I’m a bear, you know” – Baloo
20. “I’m a human and I don’t like to be called an animal.” – Calvin
21. “Life’s uncertain; eat dessert first” – Ernestine Ulmer
22. “You’re never too old to do stupid things.” – Forrest Gump
23. “I see you’ve chosen the path of least resistance.” – David Xanatos
24. “Never judge a man by his haircut.” – Zebediah Tucker

25. “Thank you for blessing me with this wonderful meal.” – Olaf
26. “I’ve got a million of ’em!” – Raggedy Ann
27. “Life’s like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long and you never know what you’re gonna get” – Forrest Gump
28. “We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” – Oscar Wilde
29. “I must not break their hearts” – Pinocchio
30. “We’ve been through a lot together; you, me and this gun.” – John Matrix
31. “Every day, when I wake up, I thank the good Lord I’m Welsh” – Ryan Giggs
32. “You stay classy, San Diego” – The Wolfman
33. “If you want to be happy, be.” – Gollum
34. “I’m a woman – I can have a horse’s head and no one would think twice about it.” – Helena Bonham Carter

35. “I’m so hungry I could eat a mule!” – John the Gun
36. “I’m gonna marry that girl” – Steve Rogers
37. “
What’s the worst that could happen?”
– Ed
38. “
What’s the point of being a space ranger if you don’t get to say things like ‘it’s life or death mission to save the galaxy’ once in awhile?”
– Johnny Rico
39. “I’m never going to get married” – Jack Dawson
40. “Go back to bed, I had a nightmare” – Mufasa
41. “
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
– The Joker
42. “This is the best day ever!” – Gus Grissom
43. “Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall off a cliff and die.” – Mel Brooks

44. “
What do you mean you can’t find your clothes?”
– Snow White
45. “
Have you seen my wagon?”
– Thomas the Tank Engine
46. “Hakuna Matata” – Timon
47. “You’ve got red on you” – Gollum
48. “I’m not afraid of the fall, I’m afraid of the crash when I get to the bottom” – Peter Pan
49. “
Why does nobody ever listen to me?”
– Olive Hoover
50. “You’ll never find a man more devoted to you than I am” – Will Turner
51. “Let me go or I’ll scream!” – Mary Poppins
52. “I’m not afraid.
I’m never afraid.” – Peter Pan
53. “Your kid has a big mouth” – Renly Baratheon
54. “
Why don’t you put a sock in it?”
– Gollum
55. “It’s just a cut, I’ve had worse” – Mike Tyson

56. “If you die, our plan dies with you and you die” – Olaf
57. “Go ahead, run away.
That’s what you’re good at isn’t it?”
– Gollum
58. “
Why are the innocent always the first to die?”
– Gollum
59. “I wish we could stay here forever” – Peter Pan
60. “Go Right Ahead!
After all, it’s your funeral” – Judge Turpin
61. “We’re not so different, you and I.” – The Joker
62. “It’s none of their business” – Luke
63. “None of us are getting out of here alive” – Jim

64. “I’m the king of the world!” – Jack Dawson
65. “
Why couldn’t you have just stayed lost?”
– Tinkerbell
66. “The last real Viking!” – Eric the Red
67. “He’s not my boyfriend” – Wendy Moira Angela Darling
68. “I’m not cut out for this” – John Coffey
69. “Life’s unfair, now go do what I pay you to do” – Mr.
Grinch
70. “You can’t imagine the things I’ve seen” – William Bligh
71. “Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not.
Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” – Tyrion
72. “I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me!” – The Joker
73. “I can’t take any more of this” – Edmond Dantes
74. “Friends help you get ou of mud.

Real friends help you get out of hell.” – John Coffey
75. “This is the day we’ve been waiting for!” – Captain Jack Sparrow
76. “I told you we were drinking too much…” – Captain Jack Sparrow
77. “Oh, I have been to hell…and back” – Captain Jean-Luc Picard
78. “You’re going to come down here and face me like a man!” – John Proctor
79. “I’m just a simple soldier, I’m far from home.
I get frightened, I get scared. I make mistakes. But I do my job. My job is to protect United States citizens from foreign threats and political extremists.” – Chris Kyle
80. “Oh, don’t worry.
He’ll find her eventually” – The Count
81. “I’m not a bad man, I’m just a realist” – Judge Turpin
82. “I don’t want to play this game anymore” – Wendy
83. “
What about my bloody tea?”
– John Silver

84. “I’ve done the impossible, I’ve made this journey to meet with you and propose an alliance between our kingdoms.” – Aladdin
85. “Some things you have to do even if you don’t want to” – Steve Zissou
86. “Getting old is terrible, Jerry.
It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.” – Sir Bedivere
87. “You look like a man who knows what the hell is going on…you look like a man who could use a drink” – The Doctor
88. “You are no king of mine” – The Doctor
89. “It’s the quiet ones you’ve got to watch” – John Proctor
90. “Have no fear, Charles Wallace is here!” – Charles Wallace
91. “This is no fantasy…this is a reality you don’t want to believe” – Unknown
92. “You’ll take this ship out of her or I’ll feed you to the fishes!” – Captain Jack Sparrow
93. “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage” – Obi-Wan Kenobi
94. “I’m not drunk.
I’ve had less than you and I’m not drunk” – Obi-Wan Kenobi
95. “You should never look for things that can’t be found, especially things that don’t exist” – Captain Quirrell

96. “I’m known for it” – Rhett Butler
97. “He’s a little boy, he’s allowed to be absurd” – The Doctor
98. “I’ll rip that necklace off your dead corpse” – Captain Jack Sparrow
99. “You can call me Anastasia” – Anastasia
100. “I’ve had enough of this place” – Jake Gittes
So there you have it. A huge thank you to all of you who read this and I hope that you liked the list.
If you haven’t seen all the movies mentioned, I urge you to do so. They are all classics. I might do more of these in the future either of Movies, Television or even Video Games. We’ll see.
Until then, take care and keep going to the movies.
– Ian J. Sago
Sources & references used in this article:
- WineSpeak: A Vinous Thesaurus of (Gasp!) 36,975 Bizarre, Erotic, Funny, Outrageous, Poetic, Silly and Ugly Wine Tasting Descriptors (B Klem – 2009 – books.google.com)
https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=GsdPDAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=Funny+Dog+Quotes+From+the+Quirky+to+the+Hilarious&ots=v7Hbz3Nh7Y&sig=AlRTFYMOCHQrKg77WG2Ksog2Y8c - A Hilarious Prairie Occurrence: Uses of Humor in Jamie Harrison’s Blue Deer Mysteries (G Garbage – 2001 – Ten Speed Pr)
http://search.proquest.com/openview/a217a6bd6c770691c93fbc6bb82dc4a8/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=29000 - The Lives of the Monster Dogs, and: A User’s Guide to the Millennium, and: Burning Down the House, and: Robert Penn Warren: A Biography, and: Perdido, and: The … (R Schaffer – Clues, 2005 – search.proquest.com)
https://muse.jhu.edu/article/409446/summary - I can see you naked (Greta Garbage – 2001 – Ten Speed Press)
https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=yCvbDCO5rPEC&oi=fnd&pg=PP11&dq=Funny+Dog+Quotes+From+the+Quirky+to+the+Hilarious&ots=lBX36UCWWo&sig=eKWiABhAzA2ouQpfbv1EHZD73_0 - Texas Curiosities: Quirky Characters, Roadside Oddities & Other Offbeat Stuff (KB Florey – 2007 – Houghton Mifflin Harcourt)
https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=vUMEAQAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=Funny+Dog+Quotes+From+the+Quirky+to+the+Hilarious&ots=tVlCs-Pa7a&sig=RN6tI5pvtZOCI_nlTcAFu06o9io